To whomever ...

To whomever I said before you have to go back home “Egypt” to raise your kids there, where they would have an إنتماء and a هوية ; I apologize and I say it out loud “GATNI SETTEEN NEELA” :-(

... فمع أنه

فمع أنه لا يزهر التين

ولا يكون حمل في الكروم

يكذب عمل الزيتونة

والحقول لا تصنع طعاما

ينقطع الغنم من الحظيرة

ولا بقر في المذاود

فإني أبتهج بالرب

وأفرح بإله خلاصي

الرب السيد قوّتي

ويجعل قدميّ كالأيائل

ويمشيني على مرتفعاتي

فأغني على آلاتي ذوات الأوتار

19-17 : 3 حبقوق

Normal = Status Quo

Now I am thinking in a Word document … mind not very clear … thoughts not organized … no sequence prepared … no conclusions planned …

Normally as soon as I come back from a vacation or trip, I am required to resume my normal life that was briefly interrupted. I have to resume living my normal morning, my normal evening and my normal nighttime … living my normal weekend and my normal Monday and normal Tuesday and normal Wednesday … my normal job duties and normal communications with my colleagues; my normal pastimes and normal relations with friends and people around …

At this point where I am slowly letting myself to get absorbed again into my usual “normal”, sometimes I am able to have an outside look at my normal day-to-day; and every time I do that, many questions arise. Questions about these normal routines that occupy my time and my mind and my life.

Sometimes I ask myself about the reason I do some usual routines. I ask myself when did I start doing this or that; when has it become part of my normal life. For some things I wonder if I was the one who consciously included it to my life; or was it a need or a necessity or circumstances that let it into my life. Questions about how much do I like one normal routine or another, and how does it compare to my ex-normal life back in Egypt. Things that I would like to include in my “normal” routine but can’t get used to do; and habits that I got used to but that I don’t like.

This is the time where I feel the most an urge for a life restructure and for a change in my normal routines. But the human tendency for stability and steadiness and the normal life that imposes itself once the hours and the days start their constant flow, strongly oppose the impulsive urge for change and reorganization.

Life order contrasts with life change and reform. It’s similar to the basic conflict in politics between parties seeking to conserve social order and others seeking social change. Hmmm … unluckily democracy and elections are not applicable in my case. Until now, it has always been the status quo (الأمر الواقع) that says the last word every time.